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Tongue twisters

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Enter Monster Gallery, brothers and sisters!They break and scatter your tongue without mercy. But once you learn them you can become some kind of king of the meetings.

While we were walking, we were watching window washers wash Washington’s windows with warm washing water.

Betty Botter had some butter,
"But," she said, "this butter’s bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter,
It would make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter--
That would make my batter better."
So she bought a bit of butter,
Better than her bitter butter,
And she baked it in her batter,
And the batter was not bitter.
So ’twas better Betty Botter
Bought a bit of better butter.

A big black bug bit a big black bear, made the big black bear bleed blood.

The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.

Pope Sixtus VI’s six texts.

The Morals of Gossip

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In ancient  Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was well known for his wisdom.

One day the  great  Philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who said excitedly:

- Socrates, do you  know what I just heard about one of yours students?

- Wait a moment - Socrates replied - Before telling me anything I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the  Triple Filter Test.

- Triple  filter?

-  That’s right - Socrates continued - Before you talk to me about my student, it might be a good idea to take a  moment and filter what you’re going to say.
The first filter is Truth.  Have  you made absolutely sure that what you
are about to tell me is  true?

The Three Little Politically Correct Pigs

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This is great extract from J.F.Garner’s book "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories." and we found it at polish your english. Just allow yourself to enjoy it. 

Once there were three little pigs who lived together in mutual respect and in harmony with their environment. Using materials that were indigenous to the area, they each built a beautiful house. One pig built a house of straw, one a house of sticks, and one a house of dung, clay, and creeper vines shaped into bricks and baked in a small kiln. When they were finished, the pigs were satisfied with their work and settled back to live in peace and self-determination.
But their idyll was soon shattered. One day, along came a big, bad wolf with expansionist ideas. He saw the pigs and grew very hungry, in both the physical nad ideological sense. When the pigs saw the wolf, they ran into the house of straw. The wolf ran up to the house and banged on the door, shouting, "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"
The pigs shouted back, "Your gunboat tactics hold no fear for pigs defending their homes and culture."

But the wolf wasn’t to be denied what he thought was his manifest destiny. So he huffed and he puffed and he blew down the house of straw. The frightened pigs ran to the house of sticks, with the wolf in hot pursuit. Where the house of straw had stood, other wolves bought up the land and started a banana plantation. At the house of sticks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted,

"Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"

The pigs shouted, "Go to hell, you carnivourous, imperialistic oppressor!" At this, the wolf chuckled condescendingly. He thought to himself: "They are so childlike in their ways. It will be a shame to see them go, but progress cannot be stopped."

So the wolf huffed and puffed and blew down the house of sticks. The pigs ran to the house of bricks, with the wolf close at their heels. Where the house of sticks had stood, other wolves built a time-share condo resort complex for vacationing wolves, with each unit a fiberglass reconstruction of the house of sticks, as well as native curio shops, snorkeling, and dolphin shows.

At the house of bricks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted,

"Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"

This time in respnse, the pigs sang songs of solidarity and wrote letters of protest to the United Nations.

By now the wolf was getting angry at the pigs’ refusal to see the situation from the carnivore’s point of view. So he huffed and he puffed, and huffed and puffed, the grabbed his chest and fell over dead of a massive heart attack brought on from eating too many fatty foods.

The three little pigs rejoiced that justice had triumphed and did a little dance around the corpse of the wolf. Their next step was to liberate their homeland. They gathered together a band of other pigs who had been forced off their lands. Their new brigade of porcinistas attacked the resort complex with machine guns and rocket launchers and slaughtered the cruel wolf opressors, sending a clear signal to the rest of the hemisphere not to meddle in their internal affairs. Then the pigs set up a model socialist democracy with free education, universal health care, and affordable housing for everyone.

Please Note: The wolf in this story was a metaphorical construct. No actual wolves were harmed in the writing of the story.
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